MIA Leaflet
Marco Island Academy
What Is MIA like?
Marco Island Academy is a top-rated high school located in collier county. MIA offers students the opportunity to succeed in education. MIA is a very exciting school that students love, every day is full of various new experiences that will make every day thrilling. The staff at MIA is some of the best, they really make going to school every day fun and not repetitive.
What’s a normal day like at MIA?
The average day at MIA can be very exciting to those who have a knack for learning and also those who love to socialize with friends or staff. An MIA day starts by going to your mentoring and listening to the morning announcements; on some occasions, the MIA staff will have picked out a fun activity to get your brain ready for a fun day of learning ahead. After mentoring you will travel to your first block class, each class will last eighty minutes. After this class, you will move to your second block class, and depending on whether you have A lunch or B lunch you will go to lunch on the top floor of the brand new campus. After lunch, you will travel to your third block class and then travel to your fourth block class once the third has ended. After your fourth block, you will be dismissed from school. Congratulations you have just finished your first day of MIA.
How to prepare for your first day?
Being prepared for school is the most important thing for a new student, especially at MIA. New students should be expected to bring pencils, Notebooks, and a laptop as many of your classes will utilize online resources and websites. Waking up early and having a good breakfast is the best way to prepare for the day ahead.
About the new campus:
MIA has a brand new campus which means that teachers will have the ability to expand their teaching styles thanks to the new technology and space available at the MIA campus. The new rooms have a state-of-the-art smart board that allows teachers to play videos, write on, or display assignments. The brand new MIA gym and auditorium is the perfect place for sports lovers and is the home of many of the rays sports teams.
In my text I attempted to use very basic language, this was due to the fact that the leaflet was targeted to a younger audience of future students and I did not want to overbear them with any fancy language. I also chose to use words that would excite or inspire any students to attend the school. Examples of the words that I used would be “fun” “thrilling” and “exciting”. I chose these words and others alike because when students read that school will be an exciting experience for them and that they will be having fun whilst learning they are more inclined to join the school and they also begin to get excited about going to school. In my writing, I discussed both how students can be fully prepared for their first day at MIA and also what they are to expect on their very first day at MIA. I wrote this because I felt it would be important for upcoming students to know how their day will go so that they don’t feel crushed by all the pressure and new things that they will experience. I think by giving a complete rundown of the day that students will feel far more comfortable in their environment. Lastly, I talked about the campus and how many things are available at MIA so that students have a lot to look forward to for their upcoming experience at MIA.
For PART A of your blog I am going to rate it 9/15 marks. Your expression was clear throughout, but your repetition was pretty, well, repetitive. You said “MIA” over and over, something that you could have done was maybe refer to MIA as “the school” or another different term. You made a few grammatical errors like saying “An MIA day…” instead of “A MIA day…” and other small ones. You had a good organization of your paragraph structure, it made sense but your actual info in the paragraphs felt repetitive and some was unnecessary. You achieved your task for sure, but I don’t know how well the students will know their way around the school. You address the audience (students) by saying “you”.
ReplyDeleteFor PART B of your blog I’ll give you a 4/10. You did not talk about your structure and barely talked about your form. However, you did bring up how your linguistic choices affected your audience and their feelings.
Hi!
ReplyDeleteOn the AO2 sale, I would award you with 9 marks. Good job keeping the content relevant to the prompt about the first day. However, I thought it could have had better structure and organization. Bullet Points would have allowed you to achieve this in a simple yet effective manner. I didn't see too many errors so this makes it occasional. You did a good job of addressing the audience through your information and sentence structure. You also did a good job at following the word count. However, as I am fully aware of the topic as well, i fent there were some key content points you could have added to improve these areas. Also, more emphasis on the structure of a leaflet would have gotten a few more marks.
On the AO3 scale, I would award you with 8 marks. Overall this was a very good analysis. However, I think it was only detailed due to the low amount of points you made with a bare explanation and only one example of direct evidence. If you tried to up your word count by furthering explanations and points it could be a much higher level. Good job explaining the why of your points.
AO2
ReplyDelete5 Marks: The first thing I noticed was the formality. It was slightly formal but most informal. You created an atmosphere that young kids would like. You talked about what to expect and what the day would be like. However I feel like you lacked in some areas and some details were really needed. You miss out on what could be offered to the students and things they would be interested in that could draw them more to MIA. That could have hinited more of your audience. Because after reading your leaflet it’s hard to determine your audience. I know you were going for kids because of what to expect and the analysis. But that could also be for the parents too. You did good on organization with the topics you were discussing and even broke it down even further.
PS: (just watch text font and placement, it can make things look jumbled when detailing with sectioned titles, don’t really need to worry when writing but look out when typing)
AO3
3 Marks: Good start by specifying using simple language so kids could easily understand. In addition the types of words you used and what purpose they serve. Overall you did well explaining some things you did but you could have added a lot more and I felt like I only learned a third of your leaflet.
AO2: I give you a 7/10. Your structure is slightly inconsistent, as under your first paragraph you leave a space above your heading and then you clump the two paragraphs below. It is important to be consistent with structure to give the leaflet a nice look. Also, the third heading is not a question, "How to prepare for your first day?," you could make it a question by phasing it like "How can you prepare for your first day?"
ReplyDeleteAO3: I give you a 3/10. You only had one paragraph so i feel like you could have broken it up and wrote more. You touch a lot on your language, but you do not write about form or structure.